Relationship break-ups are never fun, and working through them can be very tough. Surviving seperation is even more difficult when children are involved. The guilt of disrupting young lives can weigh heavily on the couple, but parents must also appreciate and make room for their own emotional well-being at such a stressful time.
People cope in different ways, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of your relationship. A big night out on the town, buying new clothes or getting a severe fringe cut in … these are short term fixes that might provide quick relief but they won’t really help in the long term (and you might really regret the new fringe in particular!).
Quick fixes are usually not as helpful as we’d like to hope.
So, here are our top 3 tips of things you can do to help yourself when going through a separation:
Surviving Separation Tip 1- slow down and breathe
“It’s a marathon, not a sprint” is a saying best applied to separations.
More often than not, clients want to rush through separation as quickly as possible, with many taking the view that faster is better. They want to put as much distance between themselves and their former partner. It is completely natural to react this way, but you should know that it may lead to potentially bigger problems and ultimately more dissatisfaction down the line.
The best piece of advice I can give anyone who is going through or contemplating separation is to slow down and breathe. Try not to react or overreact, just take time to sort out your thoughts. Find time to work through the emotions of separation, and know that it will just take time both to deal with the emotions and also to finalize the separation … but you will get there.
Surviving Separation Tip 2- Seek proper legal advice
In this day and age, everyone knows someone who has separated or divorced or who has a close relative that has gone through the process. People who have come out the other side of separation are often keen to impart their opinion. The difficulty is that their opinion is coloured by their experience and they transfer that to you. Just like every relationship, every relationship breakdown is different.
Seeking out a counsellor can be very helpful, as they can act as a sounding board for your thoughts and emotions.
Another common trap for people going through separation is to consult Google. While you might be able to get a general overview of your rights and responsibilities in separation or divorce, again, online advice is so wide-ranging that it can be hard to figure out what applies to your situation.
While there is good deal of useful information on the internet, knowing where to start and how to use that information can be tricky. The best and safest approach is to get professional advice. Getting the right advice initially can make a huge difference and help you to feel in control of the process.
Whether you’re contemplating leaving a relationship or have been separated for some time, you should seek expert advice from a qualified solicitor specializing in family law.
Surviving Separation Tip 3 – Distraction
Going through a relationship breakdown is downright hard. To reduce stress, find an outlet that will distract you, even if it is only for 30 minutes. This could be as simple as a daily walk or going to a yoga class even. Just getting lost in a new Netflix series can be distraction enough.
It doesn’t matter what you’re interested in, just find something to do that allows you to switch off from the separation and clear your head.
Once you’ve had time to process the idea of separation and know what you want life to look like afterwards, make an appointment to get professional advice so you know where you stand and what your rights are. Separation can often bring about a lot of unknowns but getting the correct information early on often reduces some of the stress.
Most importantly look after yourself – emotionally and physically.
At Liston Family Law, as the specialist seperation and divorce solicitors Limerick, Ennis and Nenagh we can provide the professional advice and guidance to reduce stress while you are surviving separation. We can provide strongly advocate for our clients to engage in settlement negotiations and mediation when appropriate. You are the best placed to know your family and what will or won’t work for everyone. If an agreement cannot be reached, we will guide you through the divorce process and help you achieve a settlement that is right for you and for your family.
If you would like to discuss the breakdown in your relationship and the legal aspects concerning that breakdown, please contact our office to book a consultation.